Have you ever reached what you thought was a dead-end?
Last night while I tried to sleep, al dosed up on iced cappuccino, I had an epiphany. It was about my senior thesis show and I realized I no longer wanted to do it. I mean, the idea I had just didn't seem right. I saw something in my head. It was something I truly cared about and enjoyed. It didn't involve video or performance and only a little bit of digital. I saw photographs put into assemblages, installed in the space. Suddenly, it seemed clear that I needed to chuck my old idea.
The thought makes me nervous, yet fills me with excitement. My boyfriend and I talked about this show and why I no longer wanted to do my original idea. Was I just being lazy? Was I scared? I wrote a list of what sort of art I like making, what sort of art I like viewing, and what sort of art I do not like making. I will post the recults when I have more.
I have been so exasperated by art lately. I feel pushed and pulled to do things, when all I want to do is make images which make me happy. I want to work my ass off. I don't want to do something I am uncomfortable with simply because it is digital or what-not. I will speak more of this later. These ideas are very new, but very exciting. finally, I don't feel uncertain and lost with my art. I feel like I have many possibilities.