Did the groundhog see his shadow? Who the hell cares?
I keep listening to a song which makes me think of a once good friend who now hates my guts.
The Curse
May they smother in their lust
May their desire turn stale
May their dreams turn to dust
May jealously prevail
I've been betrayed by my loved one
May the sky turn black above
May they choke on each other's tongues
May they never fall in love
May his lack of faith disturb her
And the coldness of his hand...
May his distance confuse her
May she never understand
Let the image of my face
Pressed up against her face
And the time that she was mine
Burn into her mind
Let the image of my face
Pressed up against her face
And the time that she was mine
Burn into her mind
I've been betrayed by my loved one
May the sky turn black above
May they choke on each other's tongues
May they never fall in love
It's by Micheal J. Sheehy of Dream City Film Club, whose voice makes me all weak in the knees.
I really wish I could give you a happier, or even more humorous message. I'd even settle for something sarcastic. Ah, well, we are faceted beings with many side to our persona. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, how somebody can see you one way, while you see yourself another. People no doubt look at me, in my black clothes, black hair, and black eyeliner and think I'm some moody devil-worshipping freak. Okay, maybe they got the moody part right...But I've never attended a Black Mass in my life. I hardly believe in a real tangible devil anyway. I believe in the same sorts of devils Diamanda Galas believes in. But then, as far as little goth girls go, I don't perfectly fit the mold. I know the scene and the music fairly well I suppose, but I've gotten so sick of the cattiness and elitism. Never mind the fact that I have a broader musical taste. I still like the idea and many of the people.
I've just been totally turned off of defining myself by some ungodly standard. It's like all these damn artists, are you post-modern, modern, conceptual, time-based, expressionistic, etc.? Does working on a computer mean I'm against painting? No. Does loving expressive drawing mean I hate computers? No. I'm not preposing some wishy-washy thing. I'm just saying that defining or keeping yourself to any one manner of living is ridiculous.
That's probably what he would like to hear? My old not-a-goth friend.... Frankly it's sad the way I miss him. I shouldn't be. Things are turning up. I live with someone I adore, I am getting a new apartment(at some point...), I am almost finished with school, and people actually like my work. I feel I have a niche, but there are times when it is hard to say.
note to self--be more like katie jane. it's okay, dr. suess is your friend.
1/25/00
1/24/00
12/8/99.2
12/8/99
12/2/99
12/1/99
11/30/99